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Shedding Skin

by erase//evolve

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1.
Elegy 04:31
He sees your flaws as diamonds, but you'll just push him away. His heart of gold is meant for more than every day you'll waste away with a bottle and a pill. You've lost your hope, he's lost his will. To carry your weight in his heart that you've filled with hate. And it's too late to make amends. Everything comes to an end. The faces and places that you pushed away A lifetime spent living the same empty day Pushing the boundaries between you and I I see right through your fucking bastard eyes I'll watch you drown in your misery. He holds his head high as you admit defeat. You'll spend the rest of your life wondering where you went wrong. In this hospital bed that you now call your home. Scream out to a god that's nowhere to be found. The deafening silence will shatter your bones. And now it's made clear, you're on your fucking own You've never felt so alone. You're on your fucking own. Sometimes silence speaks louder than words and I hope it burns knowing you weren't even worth a single breath. There's the greatest bliss in knowing you have nothing left to lose, but there's a greater anguish in letting go of everything you used to cling to. As you approach your final moments you take a paper and a pen, and write down every single word that you never said, that you should've said. Every thought you kept locked away in your mind, and you leave it on your bedside for him to find. You call out for him in your last dying breath. Your spirit ascends as the ending begins to a beautiful tragedy. The final chapter, the end to his suffering. He opens the letter with tears in his eyes, and it reads: "Son, if you're reading this I'm gone." He looks to your lifeless body, eyes wide. "One day, I'm gonna disappear. I'll walk a no name road, to a no name town where I'll die all alone, but I'll be better off. And I just want you to know you're the man that I'll never be. I'm a liar, a coward, a cheat and a fake. You're the glimmer of hope in my horrible fate. And when it's time for me to leave, I hope you'll forgive me for every promise that I couldn't keep. I ran away when times got tough, now all I'll ever be is a man that never cared enough." He leaves you behind. No apology could ever retract all the years you left him trapped in his mind. He's broken and lost, but he'll carry on. Alone.
2.
Lament 04:44
You swore that you would never be like him. So many wasted years trying to understand the man who abandoned you. Stitches can't heal a broken home. Words can't mend all of your broken bones. Years of wasted youth, trying to rebuild. Fighting to bring back what he threw away. A promise to never follow in his footsteps. Don't become what you despise. But as the years pass by, you don't carry your father's eyes. You'll never carry your father's eyes. To understand the reason he left, solitude is vital for people like you. There are some things you can't control, but you made a promise. A promise to yourself. I know that you've never had much, but you've got to give it your all. Give it everything you've got. Who knew you'd be exactly like a man you've never known. But thoughts and actions are not the same. Stand your ground and refuse to run away. Never put anyone in your place. Curse this life of deceit that you're doomed to repeat. It cuts like a knife knowing that it's all a game, but you'll do anything to keep a smile on their face. So get on your feet. We will carry you through. We will take you away from the world that you thought you knew.
3.
You were her everything Your last attempt to fucking feel anything. But you gave it all away. The love you never felt Every emotion that you left sitting on the shelf That you could never call your own You deserve to be alone. You’re becoming everything you promised you’d never be You abandoned all you had Every moment is now a memory Bound to no one but yourself The subtle voices in the back of her head were just your selfish desires Don’t make this a reputation You made a promise, and you have no one to blame but yourself Don’t tell me you still feel nothing What you did must fucking eat you alive And when you turn your back, you must feel the pain from your father’s abandoned life Learn from your mistakes These people, they’re not the same There’s color in their spirits while yours is gray They all have lives to lead, while you’re living in empty days You’ll never learn Time fades and people change She will move forward and you’ll be stuck knowing you never tried hard enough To find the connection, to find the reflecting affection between your two souls She was the best you had, you threw it all away The worst part is she saw right through every damn excuse Cause no matter how numb, she still fucking loved you But i guess the only thing that gets someone like you by is knowing that she’s happy in someone else’s life No longer worried of her worry for you Never to repeat father’s mistakes And now you’re forgotten, just like you wanted.
4.
Dirge 02:09
5.
Gloom 03:26
Another sleepless summer night spent reflecting on all the ones he's hurt this year and all the ones he's helped And how he's never helped a god damn soul He paints the walls with every word and every thought he never got the chance to show. No one should feel this low, but it's all he's ever known And just like they always said, "you reap what you sow" Still standing still There's so much more left to see There's so much more you could be, but you're letting it all slip away Every moment you wait is just another risk you take Every second you waste will help you dig your own grave This can't be how it ends Self pity with no one to blame Hanging on by broken picture frames You'll never make it out alive without faith in yourself. Shedding skin over things that you've never felt. Black and white, a grayscale form of life. Finding solace in sleepless nights. Pave your own path Fight to free yourself from each damning thought that he fought to instill in your mind. Find yourself in his past mistakes, be the man he never was.
6.
Let me breathe in life and corner its boundaries I’m just a man that wants to be free So subtle, the details and the little things, they keep me going What’s the value in life when there’s no life to live? Just release the tension and the pressure around you It’s just a moment now i promise it will ease you Your spirit is born to be burdened It’s all a game It’s all in your head These passions are not of my own control I just want you to embrace the life you live i understand you’ve fought your battles You did everything you could to cover up those scars Let that smile stab you right to the core "Anything to help them carry on." Deep sighs and sleepless nights Forever convinced you’re a better man Breathe in Breathe out It’s not the end I know those tears have insight You’re not the only one Tightened skin, a voice to never be heard Breathe in Breathe out That smile is gone and for what it’s worth It is worthless to a man that neglects his own happiness But that’s alright, that’s just fine We turn our backs and Release the tension and the pressure around you It’s just a moment now i promise it will ease you Your spirit is born to be burdened It’s all a game that nobody wins Nobody wins
7.
Soliloquy 05:12
Living in silence, he learned to push them away Mother father didn’t mean that much to him Thankful for the life and the reason to see it all He’s trapped inside his own mind I’ve never seen a man so numb Pass it off, a genuine heart A man with a purpose He just wants isolation Let the cancer overwhelm him Take the easy way out. i couldn’t blame him. Years of advice, positive reinforcement The borderlines around your mind make you lose sense of reality Just remember I remember all you said to me It’s not that he didn’t want to move forward but when the passion dies there’s nothing left but to wither away, slowly but surely. Smile on his face, ready for the world to unfold Don’t tell him there’s a reason for everything With nothing to lose, who needs a reason? Who needs a reason to live? You’ve made loved ones You’ve carried them through, their thickest waters They will never forget you. You think you can just push them away? Show them your worth Wear your suit with pride You can end it when no one remembers your face You can end it when no one remembers your name, but there’s no easy way out of this. Live your life, make your mistakes Pass it off, you’ll never find your place So keep your act up tight and promise me that you’ll keep going without an ounce of worry Breathe in their love like you can’t breathe at all Searching for a reason Your reason is standing right beside you After all, they are your life support You’d hate to see them all end up like you There has to be something there Something worth more than those broken bones Just keep fighting, just for a feeling Hold on

credits

released January 12, 2016

Recorded, Mixed and Mastered by Nicholas Nativo at The Nook Recording Studio

Special thanks to Joseph Shelleh, Colin Wilde, Joe Weiler, Riggs Repking, everyone in The Basement Collective, and all of our friends and family. (especially JJ's mom for letting us make noise in her basement multiple times a week).

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erase//evolve Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Metal band from Milwaukee, WI, USA.

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